IMMA LET YOU FINISH

I started writing this OpEd piece for the paper yesterday about how Kanye West is a dickhead for throwing another one of his drunken hissyfits. I didn't want to write, so I figured I'd just be really funny about it. Long story short, I passed the story on to someone else and now I've got this half-finished rant that doesn't make much sense, but whatever. Here it is.

I am a closet Taylor Swift fan. I like to listen to “Love Story” when I’m sad and sometimes my best friend and I rock out to “You Belong With Me” in the car. I don’t really care about the VMAs. I mean, I recorded them and all, but I only planned on fast forwarding to the juicy bits. Instead, I went out with friends, but when I got home it seemed like the internet was on fire.

“Team Taylor” was the No. 1 topic on Twitter. Google News had more or less exploded. Perez Hilton was probably crying and calling some guy a faggot. IT WAS EVEN ON CNN. BREAKING NEWS: Drunken, washed-up, egomaniacal hip-hop star steals thunder of 19-year-old country sweetheart. I figured he had stumble onstage reeking of bourbon and overpriced imported beer with a confused look on his face, only to stumble off after realizing his booze-fueled faux pas.

Then I watched the video.

For those of you who haven’t seen it, it goes like this:

Shakira and that hunky werewolf kid from Twilight present Taylor Swift with the award for Best Female Video. She’s stoked. She looks like she wants to cry. The losers congratulate her. Even Lady Gaga takes a break from being COMPLETELY INSANE and bids Ms. Swift mazel tov. Still awestruck, Taylor starts her acceptance speech.

About 10 seconds into it, Kanye West, drunk off of his own self-importance (and that Costco-sized bottle of Hennessey he was chugging from earlier) rushes the stage, snatches the microphone away and launches into some tirade about how Beyonce had ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME. Yes, the black and white one where she dances around in a black body suit and heel for three and a half minutes.

Now, I’ve fel t that sense of celebrities being robbed before. I’ve had those instances of pure blind rage before. Instances like when Three Six Mafia won an Academy Award, or when Herbie Hancock (WHO?!) won the Grammy for Album of the Year, and every single time I didn’t hear “And the Emmy goes to…SUSAN LUCCI!” But injustices aside, when is it ever cool to just run up and embarrass people like that?


That's as far as I got. I was going to say something funny about how even though he interrupted her, he promised to let her finish, so shuttup about it. Whatever.

Tune in next week for my open letter to Patrick Swayze.